Chase LOVEs Cheesesteaks
by Miles Goldman
Ride it Chase!
Posts tagged “cheesesteaks”.
The Chase Philly Cheesesteak Liberty Bell
by Katilyn Rose
Notice the lovely photoshopping of the cheesesteak into the bell’s yoke. Very nice work Katilyn!
Things You Didn’t Know About Cliff Lee
• Cliff Lee uses fastballs to perform everyday tasks, like turning out the lights in his bedroom, programming the microwave, and pleasuring his wife.
• While he sleeps, Cliff Lee has a pitching machine throw 100mph fastballs at him, which he catches and rockets back into the machine at 101mph. Every morning he has to buy a new pitching machine because he so thoroughly out-pitched the one from last night.
• One time Cliff Lee was at Tony Luke’s and noticed that they guy was putting onions on his steak even though he had asked for mushrooms, so he threw a curveball through the ordering window that knocked the onions off of the grill and cooked mushrooms into his steak at the same time. (Some witnesses say the ball simultaneously cooked a roasted pork sandwich with broccoli rabe to go, but this has never been proven).
• They recently tested for water on the surface of the moon by having Cliff Lee launch a baseball at it and then analyzing the massive mushroom cloud of dust that rose up into space.
• Until it was discovered the the Balloon Boy thing was a hoax, authorities planned on bringing the child down safely through the use of a carefully placed Cliff Lee slider.
• Cliff Lee recently tested the speed of his new Lamboghini Murciélago by facing it off against one of his own fastballs. The Murciélago did 0-60mph in 2.8 seconds. In that same amount of time, the fastball travelled all the way around the Earth and shattered the Murciélago’s back window. Cliff Lee hasn’t bothered to fix the car since he usually rides to work on one of his own pitches (they get much better gas mileage).
Ginas fans hate Philavania!
Just got a comment on our post about eating at the Tick Schlock Diner near the meadowlands. Jffry_frmr@yahoo.com says (and I quote): “O yea cause the food in PA is awesome! You’re a tool, philadelphia is a dump, I can get a better cheesesteak in an elementary school cafeteria.”
It’s challenge time! Jeffrey Ginasfan, we at Philavania would like to know what elementary school cafeteria serves cheesesteaks as good as those found in our dump of a home, Philadelphia. Wanna do a taste test?
