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I’m tempted to listen to 610 later today, just to hear the haters manage to find something to whine about on a day when the Eagles win 34-7. Because you know they will.

So, in the spirit of mindless hating, let’s ignore that awesome win and cover the bases for all the haters out there:

“Lurie doesn’t care about winning, just looking good & making money, Banner is the worst front office guy in the league & is secretly the Incredible Hulk, McNabb is a barfing front office puppet, and Fat Andy is the worst game managing coach in the history of pro football.”

Hold on wait, there should be more spelling mistakes… “We nver shudda let Dawk go, were the worst drafting team in all uf sports, and I totally don care about how manny times we made it to the playoffs cuz winning any game other than the Super Bowl doesn’t matter because I dont watch the reglar seeson or playofs only the Super Bowl. I only accep tha BEST, and any a yous who likes winnin games and goin to da playoffs pretty much every year since andy reid has ben are coach are just brainwashed front office drones.”

Oh yeah one more thing: “Obama’s a muslim!!”

Thanks to our new imaginary alter ego, Kensington Kev the Moronic Super Hater, for these wonderful insights.

(A little background on Kensington Kev: he drinks Piels, he might have a crystal meth habit, and his favorite Eagle is either Andre Waters (pronounced “durty wutters”) or John Runyan. And he owns a Mike Mamula jersey.)

One of these is a picture of Kensington Kev, maybe you can help us decide which:

Psyched about McCoy. Psyched about Maclin. Is Avant actually going to do some business this year? DeSean is SO fast it’s unbelievable. Stop fumbling. Not a bad job by the patchy O-Line. Asante is the new Dawk (not the same, mind you, but he’s now the guy you watch on the D). Loved Herm Edwards on the Eagles Television Network (although he had at LEAST 2 pre-emptive TD calls–take it easy Herm). Loved McNabb’s joke to Spadaro on the sideline (why don’t McNabb bashers realize he’s a funny, nice dude?). Vick… hmmm…what to say about Vick…I said “I can’t believe this” to myself at least 4 times…That laser shot pass up the middle was sweet, but I’m still confused how they’re gonna do this. McNabb looked pretty damn agile last night, huh? He’s the man on this team, whether you like it or not. I like it. (As you can tell by these thoughts, I’m a “glass is half full” kindof guy, a rarity in Philavania.) Oh one other thing: i watched the game out of town on Directv, and for some reason they skipped over about 6 minutes in the 2nd quarter. Weird!! Jumped back in right AFTER Asante’s pick. Gee, thanks Directv.