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Well, this video about sums up the day for Phillies and Flyers! (Watch the bottom of the screen.) Flyers take game one and the Phils win.

Something about this image just really struck me. It’s a screen shot from the end of the Yanks-Angels series, when their fans were beating their hands on the wall like a bunch of moneys waiting for a can of Alpo. What I realized was: every Yankees fan in the world looks exactly like one of these meatballs.

Which one of these idiots doesn’t look like he spent some time in either a mental or juvenile institution? Remember when they used to measure people’s intelligence or propensity for criminal behavior by measuring the shapes of their skulls? Wonder how these clowns would do in a phrenology test.

#1) Fatty Arbuckle here is actually only 5 years old. He weighs 452 pounds, and his balls haven’t dropped yet.

#2) Here is your prototypical baboon-with-a-five-o’clock-shadow New York fan. Any time I see someone in a Yankees cap, I see this face. (See how we put him chopping his own head in half? Awesome huh.)

#3) Ever seen or read “Of Mice & Men?” This is the guy who’s not Gary Sinese. That’s right Lennie, put the mice down. You’re hurting them.

#4a & 4b) These dudes might actually be siamese twins– they appear to have the same face. At least they’re taking up less space in the universe than 2 regular Yankees fans.

#5) This idiot would get thrown out of a cro-magnon frat party. He must have gotten a free ticket to the game from Father “Slippery Hands” O’Connelly.

#6) Jesus. (This dude’s name is actually Jesus. How could his mother do that to the real Jesus.)

#7) And rounding things off is Vito from “Do the Right Thing.” Remember the idiotic brother who sweeps up the floor and gets beat up by John Turturro? That’s the one.

Do the right thing Phils. Put these clowns to bed early.

Idiots.

Hey Yanks fans– If you guys can’t even take down a Disney team, how are you going to take down the League Of Red October? That must have been a real heartbreaker. I bet you and your dough-faced, five o’clock shadowed Nieuw Amsterdam faithful were in full cocky-smug mode when you took the lead. Basking in your sense of entitlement, pumping your grubby little fists and telling yourselves how much you deserve it. But oh no! Bambi and Dumbo live to play another day! The Yanks aren’t impenetrable- they’re just a bunch of douchevags like we keep trying to tell you! Good luck on Saturday. Or maybe it’ll be Sunday with the rain… either way use them pitchers up!

Meanwhile, back at the PSFS Hall of Liberty… Captain Howard and Señor Octobre await, slumbering softly and gathering strength as they dream of dingers and tasteycakes and Broad Street Parades…

Hey Yanks fans– If you guys can’t even take down a Disney team, how are you going to take down the League Of Red October? That must have been a real heartbreaker. I bet you and your dough-faced, five o’clock shadowed Nieuw Amsterdam faithful were in full cocky-smug mode when you took the lead. Basking in your sense of entitlement, pumping your grubby little fists and telling yourselves how much you deserve it. But oh no! Bambi and Dumbo live to play another day! The Yanks aren’t impenetrable- they’re just a bunch of douchevags like we keep trying to tell you! Good luck on Saturday. Or maybe it’ll be Sunday with the rain… either way use them pitchers up! Meanwhile, back at the PSFS Hall of Liberty… Captain Howard and Señor Octobre await, slumbering softly and gathering strength as they dream of dingers and tasteycakes and Broad Street Parades… -Uncle Cholly

This is our team guys. This is OUR TEAM. These are OUR guys. And this is OUR GUYS that keep doin’ it, night after night. You never know who it’s gonna be, you never know what they’re gonna do, but one of ‘em’s gonna do it. You just know they’re gonna do it. And even if you don’t know, they’ll probably do it anyway, and you’ll smile like a little kid and shake your head cuz you can’t goddamn believe it but the Phillies just phuckin’ did it again.

These guys know how to win in a way I honestly have just never seen before. These guys have a spirit, a confidence, a way to get it done that just blows my mind. They don’t always make it look easy, but then in the end… they make it look so easy.

Thank you Phils. Thank you from your phans.

It could all end right now and I’d be a happy man. Because you’ve put some real phuckin’ smiles on my face, and you’ve given me some stuff I’m never gonna forget.

But it’s not over yet. Not even close. I’m just so glad I get to watch this team play again.

This is OUR team. I can’t even believe it.

• Cliff Lee uses fastballs to perform everyday tasks, like turning out the lights in his bedroom, programming the microwave, and pleasuring his wife.

• While he sleeps, Cliff Lee has a pitching machine throw 100mph fastballs at him, which he catches and rockets back into the machine at 101mph. Every morning he has to buy a new pitching machine because he so thoroughly out-pitched the one from last night.

• One time Cliff Lee was at Tony Luke’s and noticed that they guy was putting onions on his steak even though he had asked for mushrooms, so he threw a curveball through the ordering window that knocked the onions off of the grill and cooked mushrooms into his steak at the same time. (Some witnesses say the ball simultaneously cooked a roasted pork sandwich with broccoli rabe to go, but this has never been proven).

• They recently tested for water on the surface of the moon by having Cliff Lee launch a baseball at it and then analyzing the massive mushroom cloud of dust that rose up into space.

• Until it was discovered the the Balloon Boy thing was a hoax, authorities planned on bringing the child down safely through the use of a carefully placed Cliff Lee slider.

• Cliff Lee recently tested the speed of his new Lamboghini Murciélago by facing it off against one of his own fastballs. The Murciélago did 0-60mph in 2.8 seconds. In that same amount of time, the fastball travelled all the way around the Earth and shattered the Murciélago’s back window. Cliff Lee hasn’t bothered to fix the car since he usually rides to work on one of his own pitches (they get much better gas mileage).

But we’re still World Phuckin’ Champions.

LAmest moment of today’s game (besides that whole us losing thing): Kobe was sitting in Lasorda’s box, wearing a dodger hat and a t-shirt WITH A PICTURE OF HIMSELF ON IT.

Holy f’in jeebus, that dude is pretty much the biggest douchebag in the universe. I hate him so much.

Go phils. I’m bummed right now, but I still think we’re gonna take ‘em down and go back to the big show.

World Phuckin' Champions.

A few thoughts:
- This team knows how to win. It’s almost eerie. Thank god they’re my team, I wouldn’t want to play against them.
- Dodgers fans are f’in scary. Like, psycho scary. Like people that need to get into fights for no reason, in a way that even we Philly peeps can’t understand. I yelled to my friend tonight that he was crazy, and this dude flashed his psycho face at me and goes “Who you callin crazy, bro!?!” And I was like “Uh, my friend. Who’s a philly fan.” Jesus christ. Take it fuckin’ easy a-holes.
- So many empty seats at Dodger stadium. LAME.
- Not many red shirts either– where the hell are you Philavanians??
- Chooch is ridikilis. I mean, wtf is he up to! This dude is KILLING IT. His homer would have sailed right over heads if the lady serving beers didn’t take FRICKING FOREVER to get our change. She was sweet though. But shit. Shit shit shit. At least I saw it on the TV over her shoulder.
- Raul was due. My cuz said this seconds before he hit his bomber. I still think he’s due. In other words, more to come from Rauuuul…
- Howard’s ripper to right field was my favorite play of the night. He’s superhuman. He’s kinda my favorite baseball player of all time.
- Chan Ho is my 2nd favorite Korean of all time.
- I can’t believe they left Kershaw in that long. I would be pissed too if I was a dodgers fan.
- If anybody’s got an extra ticket for tomorrow let me know.
- We’re going back to the World Series. For sure.

Where my red shirts at??

Got some really nice emails in the last week from Philavania phans. The whole idea behind Philavania was to do stuff for people who love what we love, no matter if they’re living on Cottman Avenue or moved to Texas when they were 6. So it’s awesome for us to hear from people all over the country (and the world) who are diggin’ what we do. We dig what you do too. Thanks for your support, it’s been amazing and we couldn’t do it without yous.

From nathan “a big time philly fan living in the south”:
Subject: keep up the good work
love the shirts you guys make.
love the eagles
love the phucking phillies
love the flyers

fuck the giants, mets, and rangers.

Amen brother!

From Suziee in the 18447:
i have 4 phils t’s and i absolutely love them, they’ve held up better than any team store t’s i’ve ever over paid for for. even in rain. i will always from now on order my stuff from you guys, you guys rock! go phils!!!! my shirts look as good as the day i got them. and i get many compliments on my “world phuckin’ champion shirt” it’s unreal. awesome!!

No Suziee, YOU’RE awesome.

Whoa whoa whoa–NOT COOL for the Twins to play Philadelphia’s own “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now” after they won tonight. NOT COOL.

That’s a Philly song, not a freakin’ Minnesota song. Everybody’s knows about Philly Soul– “Minnesota Soul” is like a fat swedish guy with pigtails yodeling in the snow.

Now I hope the Phillies play the Twins in the World Series and win in Philly and play that shit in OUR HOUSE and rub it in their faces.

Stupid Minnesotan song co-opting a-holes…