Dude, You’re Bankrupt! – Nails Phinally Phails
There was an fascinating profile of Lenny Dykstra in the New Yorker about a year ago (“Nails Never Fails,” linked here)– I remember reading it and being amazed by the Dude’s intensity and by all the balls he seemed to be juggling at one time. The weird thing, though, was the whole thing felt a little off, like he had built this huge house of cards and had somehow convinced everyone (himself included) that it was real. I remember wondering what was going to happen to him, how it was all going to play out.
Fast forward to a year later when another incredible profile appeared on the ESPN website (“A Bed of Nails,” linked here). It was the perfect follow-up: Nails was still running a hundred miles an hour, but this time the house of cards was truly raining down around him.
Looks like Nails has phinally phailed.
It’s incredible what a Master Sketchyball McSchemerpants this guy is. My favorite detail was how he would try to get his Gulfstream pilots to pay for the jet fuel on their own credit cards because he didn’t have the cash to front for it himself. (But he still felt like he needed to be flying around on Gulfstream jets everywhere.)
If you’ve got the time, read both of those articles start to finish, starting with the New Yorker one. It’s an incredible story, and a perfect parable for all the crazy shit that’s been going on in the world lately. (Also there are some hilarious appearances by old Phils like Dave Hollins and Pete Incaviglia.)
I think I’m gonna try to write “The Life of Dykstra” screenplay…
In the mean time, should we do a NAILS PHAILS t-shirt to help raise money for the Dude? (joking. maybe.)
Tastes like financial ruin!
